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Perhaps what we least appreciate is that dating has always been hard work, akin to "an unpaid internship for love," writes Weigel.When we date, we toil as actors in a drama written by society and the lovers who came before us, she observes.Seems like we may be ready for some deep reflection on dating culture.Why do you think it is resonating so much right now?Our conversation has been edited for brevity and clarity.Eliza Barclay: What you point out is how, even from the early days of dating in the early 20th century, we've talked about it as a form of shopping -- and as a game.You write that dating protocols change so quickly, and thus inspire a lot of anxiety and bewilderment.

EB: This is your first book, and it’s getting a lot of attention (in the New Yorker, the Atlantic, and the New York Times).MW: I’ve thought a lot about how there’s been a reinvigoration of feminism in the US in the past five to 10 years. the new social movement, starting with Occupy and Black Lives Matter. Writers like Roxane Gay had a big online following before she wrote .I like to joke that "because the internet" is the answer to everything.You note that we’ve become more "educated consumers" in terms of how taste informs whom we choose to date and what kind of sex we seek. , which is mostly about fulfilling the male fantasy of easily getting women into bed, you’re encouraged to "think of tonight as a video game." But with that, there’s a loss of connection with your own emotions, which is sad.Because emotional connection is supposed to be the point of dating.

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